Dammit, if TRANNIES aren't the most fun people on the planet....
You get it......girl?
THE CHURCH OF COOL Latest Headlines
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Inconvenient Truth for Al Gore's kid
Maybe Al was too busy saving the Earth, but his son gets down! Al Gore III was charged with felony drug-possession charges and lesser offenses related to a July 4 speeding stop. Word is that he had 140 Vicodin pills and "dozens" of other prescription drugs.
Party like rockstar young Al, according to your Dad we don't have much time left anyway.......word.......
Bless Yourself - How to Crowd Surf!!
First off, WTF! on this pic, nice find staff!
Just in time for the hot summer concerts, great How to on Crowd Surfing!! Word....PARTY LIKE A MUTHAF#CKIN ROCKSTAR!!
Send in your crowd surfing stories for a prize (churchofcool@gmail.com)!!
Dope Sh#t - Reebok Pump Omni Lite
Remember 1991, when Dee Brown made Reebok Pumps the "official sh#t?" Well, Reebok is at it again, bringing back the Pump Omni Lite, in a fresh neutral gray and yellow color-up. The shoe hits stores end of July and will retail around $100. Pump up snitches......
Speaking of assholes.....
Now I have a soft spot for dolphins, admitted. And I've heard all about them gang raping people and all that, but still. I like them, I think they just need to change press agents.
But in the past year, there has been a steady stream of dolphin slaughters, and here at The Church, we're just not into it.
The latest assholes are these f#ckin Brazilians, who not only slaughtered 83 dolphins, but filmed the sh#t. Asshole move dude, asshole move. Check the video......
Hopefully one of these f#ckers will fall into the water amid a family of pissed off dolphins and gets his sh#t pushed in by Lil' Puppet and his crew.....I mean, wouldn't that be justice?
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
WTF! - Instant Candidate for WTF! of the Year
http://view.break.com/289307 - Watch more free videos
I don't even know what to say about this sh#t, other than to say, you know this is good when it beats out Air Max CRACK news! You'll jump every other second - A MUST SEE!!
Dope Sh#t - NIKE Air Max 1 & 90 CRACK!!
Talk about the CRACK being back!! I'm f#cking sweating I'm so excited!
Last year, San Francisco based, HUF SF, and Nike created the earthquake Nike Air Force 1 which was an instant classic with the sneakerheads. This year, they’re back at it again and thanks to Keith Hufnagel and NimNim.net, we have a preview of part two of the “Earthquake” pack. The new series will still be based off the “crack” print and will include two models, the Air Max 1 and Air Max 90. As of now, they haven’t given any release date so stay tuned for more info. (I think Skribe just had an aneurysm!)
So stoked about this - Jet Li and Jason Statham in WAR
This is one I will be getting on bootleg and checking at the flix! Anyone got any other footage from this?
Dope Sh#t - Top 10 Concept Cars
While the CX-F is really doing it for me, its hard to go wrong with this list. Now, if they'd take layaway on these jonz....
The White Stripes blow.....
I get the whole post-modern, irony for irony's sake bullsh#t, but come on, WTF! The Stripes show up out of nowhere, and play one note. Funny I guess......but f#ckin lame at the same time. Here's to postmodernism......
Bless yourself - 4 reasons to Meditate and how to get started
If our last post wasn't reason enough to quiet the mind, here are 4 other great reasons to meditate, and better yet, some easy ways to get started. I need something, because there is not enough rum on the continent to get the taste of Darren Garcia out of my mouth.....
And our asshole of the week goes to.....
This asshole, Darren Garcia. He doesn't win because he is a male prostitute who dresses in drag. He doesn't win because he lives in Denver and only charges $30 a blow. He doesn't even win because he was dumb enough to hop into an undercover cop's car and offer to blow him during a prostitution sting.
No, this asshole wins because he is charged with prostitution while KNOWINGLY being infected with AIDS. What a f#ckin asshole!
Even worse, try explaining to your wife of 15 years why she suddenly has HIV......
For every white boy whose ever wanted to choke a dude with an afro...
Here's as close as you'll probably come. The classic Larry Bird - Julius Erving chokefest from the 80's (ahhh...the 80's). Undefeated Japan teams up with DJ Muro's store Savage! to bring you the Dope Sh#t.....
WTF! - The Booby Blaster Game
Booby Blast
Uh, this kept me up until 5 in the morning. The rest of these will have you groggy at work tomorrow.
Dope Sh#t - DQM Summer Band Tee
If you know who CBGB and the Ramones are, then get this t-shirt RIGHT NOW!! Real street New York sh#t from DQM, word......
How to spot the bootleg DVD that won't work
If you live in any major city in the United States, you know the chinos run the bootleg DVD business. And I'm happy for it, because I've saved more money this summer than I care to tell you about watching the big blockbusters in the comfort of our back room.
But sometimes you get burnt, like I did on f#cking Ocean's 13 - so here you go, how to spot the bootleg bootleg....
Dope Bart Simpson Art Collection
Using the 10” D.I.Y. Bart Simpson Blank Platform Qee Figure as a blank canvas, TOY2R and Diamond Comics have commissioned a bunch of dope ass artists to create a custom Bart art collection.
They are launching a worldwide art gallery tour, where rumor has it some of the Barts will be up for auction!
The first release of the 3” Classic Bart Qee figures will happen July 5 through the 8th, 2008 at the
Taipei Toy Festival. The US debut will be at the San Diego Comic Con, July 25th through the 29th in conjunction with the release of the 3” Classic Bart Qees.
If someone is in the area, send The Church some pics!! Or better yet buy us a Bart as an offering!!
De-clutter your space snitch!
Here at The Church, we have a desk we call "F#ck that," because when it comes time for chores or to entertain, Skrybe and me just look at each other, and then at that desk and say, "F#ck that!"
Well no more. Here are 10 easy ways to clear the clutter from your zone, and in our case, the desk. Now we have a more pleasing place to download porn. Thanks Leo Babauta @ Dumb Little Man.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Atomic MakeoverAtomic Makeover
Ever wonder how long it takes your body to replace all its atoms? I know this is something we ponder everyday. LOL. Seriously tho, what does this mean for all those botoxers and nip and tuck fiends?
Monday, July 16, 2007
What if she f#cks up?
What to do when your woman cheats…..outside of hunting her and her new lover down, waiting in a parked car outside of their motel room, spinning the revolver on your .357, crying……or just storm in and bushido blade his ass.....
10 ways to improve life RIGHT NOW!!
I think I do all 10 of these things, but if you can stop, sh#t can go a lot smoother. Some of the"habits" (I call them survival instincts) that this cat says you should break:
Stop jumping to conclusions.
Don't invent rules.
Don't take things so personally.
Don't hang on to the past. Let go and move on.
Easier said than done, but check it anyway.....
Justice?
So 500 kids get sexually abused by some pederasses in funny capes and ear mics; then the LA Roman Catholic Archdiocese steps in, pays $660 million to make it go away, and you wonder why the f#ck I opened my own church…..
Headz up - Marijuana laws by state
For all the headz - check the next place you hitch too. Make sure its friendly territory.
Sneaker Freaker Issue #10 out now!
For all the Sneaker fiends - Sneaker Freaker Issue 10 is out, and if you don't know, SNEAKER FREAKER is one ill ass website for your inner sneaker dope fiend! Since 2003, Sneaker Freaker has covered international sneaker culture, giving you pics and previews of sh#t you'll never find or afford. Peep it......
Paris Hilton can float
And still can't keep her sh#t on straight! I don't even know this girl, but I've seen so much of her I feel like we've already f#cked and I was grossed out by it.....
Cats and dogs
This scary little lady found a home.....with a Rhodesian Ridgeback dog after her mother refused to feed her and tried to kill her in the Belgrade zoo.
Best part - the zookeepers believe the mother has killed all her cubs since 1999 because "she has been traumatized by the sound of NATO bombs."
Right, blame war for everything!
Sunday, July 15, 2007
This is how I keep n#ggas outta my sh#t too...
No big surprise, but after years of folks claiming they were excluded from White House events where the president was speaking, out comes the "Presidential Advance Manual," a 103-page document that lays out the parameters for handling protesters at events.
There's all kinds of brilliant sh#t in here - one section entitled "Preparing for Demonstrators," makes clear how to keep big-mouth do-gooders the f#ck out the way: "As always, work with the Secret Service and have them ask the local police department to designate a protest area where demonstrators can be placed, preferably not in view of the event site or motorcade route."
Now how do I do that for my comment box?
Dope Sh#t - VANS X The Simpsons - July 16th
This Monday, July 16, my kinfolk at KICKS/HI Makaloa will release the ultra limited VANS x THE SIMPSONS artist series shoes. There are 14 shoe styles, 100 pairs per style nationwide, and only 10 stores that were chosen for this launch, which means that there will not be many shoes in circulation.
If your in the area, get there early because it is first come, first served. If not, their taking phone orders Monday, July 16: 808.941.9191.
Check the gallery under latest/shoes/mens....
Dear Diary - Menstruation
"I grabbed a pad from under my sink and unwrapped it. I looked down on the little tab attached to the wings and noticed the message printed on it. "Have a happy period." FUCK YOU, I thought. Who the fuck has happy periods? No one. Periods only make you happy if you've been irresponsible that month. And that joy only lasts like 1.5 seconds of the 5 - 7 days you have to deal with it." Nice.....
In my day, we called it cocaine....
So you want to chat up a bird in line for fish and chips, or maybe just get those nerves out the first time you meet his lame ass fraternity friends - well, become the smooth sucka you were destined to be. Some genius doctors have invented a spray that cures shyness - by spraying it up your nose (wink, wink). Its supposed to harness oxytocin, which is supposed to produce calm vibes.
Now let's see if my dealer can get a line on this sh#t......
Reebok and Halloween - kinda feelin this....
Come Halloween, Reebok is trying to move packs by releasing their Halloween foursome - check for Chucky (above), his bride, Jason Vorhees and Freddy Krueger - can you say pre-order b#tch?
Catch a dope case - Arkitip OriginalFake Incase
From the always dope KAWS comes OriginalFake. Arkitip and KAWS partnered with bag specialist Incase to bring you a bag and custom designed laptop sleeve to commemorate the 1 year anniversary of KAWS Aoyama district (Tokyo) boutique opening. Arkitip will also be using the sleeve as the packaging for this special anniversary issue. Check it.....
Posh calls Eddie Murphy a b#tch....in British
So, the Becks sure know how to make an entrance. Victoria's been here five minutes and already calling names! That's what I'm talkin about!
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