Two Truths and A Lie: A Column of 33.3% Bullshit - By Bobby The Superboy

Hey everybody what’s up? My name is Bobby The Superboy, welcome to my new column, Two Truths and A Lie. The Church of Cool was kind enough to give a degenerate like me a chip, a chair, and chance, so now you have to read my ass. The concept of this column is simple, twice a week I’ll put up a post containing three short-short stories from my Cool-Ass life. Two of them will be so true they could be used as grand jury testimony. The third will be complete bullshit. Your job is to pick out the ringer. Pick out the lie. Call my bitch ass out like you did that fat kid in 7th grade who claimed to have fingered Tracey Beck in the sacristy before mass. Oops, I might be the only one who knows that fat kid. Well soon you’ll know him too, and many, many other weirdos from my past.

My column will post once a week and you will have until the next column’s posting to vote. At that next posting, the previous week’s lie will be revealed.

What will you win? Well to start off nothing, but prizes may be awarded in the future (more on that later) and the more you read now, the better you will know me and my bullshit when those prizes start to be given. What will you gain? An intimate knowledge of yours truly and mi vido loco, some Cool-Ass stories to use as your own and retell to all your little friends at the bars, a sick stomach, a headache, and maybe even a laugh. What will you lose? Your morals, your mind, and maybe even your virginity.

Okay, for this inaugural column we will be focusing on first times. Again, for you glue sniffers, two of these stories are true and one is a lie. So pop your Adderall and concentrate. Then vote.

*A note of interest: The proper names in this column will always be changed to not only respect the innocent, but more importantly, to protect the guilty.